you’re ripping me apart

Dearest D,

I’m not sure if it’s just infatuation or probably my feelings got too involved despite the fact that you have always maintained your distance with me. You see, I’ve never let my guard down and I’ve always been careful on who I let into my life. Dating had always been a grey area and I definitely don’t know how to play the game. It is in fact a wonder why I agreed being ‘casual’ with you. I like you too much to be just casual but I still gave it a go. Let’s just say you got under my skin in a short span of time.

Whatever you felt was probably fleeting, a need you had to fill and then nothing. For me it was different, it involved unicorns and rainbows which you probably will never understand. I was on my feet, i was happy, i felt wanted and I wanted you. Flaws and all.

I’m not sure when but I pretty much handed you my heart in a silver platter. I fell head over feet, I can’t even point what the reasons were all I know is that I have fallen. But alas, you don’t feel the same and I can’t force someone to reciprocate these feelings.

Your silence is torture, it’s ripping my heart open. Tears won’t stop falling and I’ve never felt this vulnerable before. All parts of my body are in pain, but it still screams for you. I wished you had given me a chance, a chance to love you. I wished you were interested in who I am as won’t hold back. I have so much love to give, and I was willing to give my all to you. But you didn’t want it. Despite the pain, i could not hate you because that’s how I love…silly and unconditional.

-Miss Quandary-

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