An option, NOT a priority

I never imagined in this lifetime that I will be involve in such ‘arrangement’ and I could not believe that I would say YES.

We’ve started talking back in June but only saw each other a few times, I feel you’re keeping me as an option. The old me wouldve said ‘screw that’ and leave but this vulnerable new side just wants to hold on and see how this goes. ‘To see it through’ as they say and despite the reality of how this will end, I still would like to rely on hope. It is all sorts of pathetic but what can I do? I’ve fallen for this crap of a relationship, oh wait I cant even call this a relationship.

I’m in love w/ you and I miss you, yes I want to see you more often. To spent time with you and be a part of your life. But you wouldn’t let me thus I keep my distance.

Eventually, my heart will get tired of loving you but for now I’m hanging around because I cant force myself to quit you.

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